Just thinking...

Big cement trucks, drills, people, orange caution cones everywhere… just sitting outside my apartment buildings trying to think and sort out my brain, but I can’t turn my attention away from the construction work filling the streets. Just look at these people working away with such monotonous movements. These guys had been out there every day for the past week, and little by little, the new payment stretches farther and farther. These workers almost seem liked busy little bees. Just think. Of all the things to do in the world, these workers get up early every morning, come to this construction site, and work away, walking back and forth and back and forth. Truck to sidewalk. Truck to sidewalk. And for what? Fixing these bumps in a silly little road? Sometimes I wonder what the point of life is. Everyday I do these little things that I think are building something in my life, but maybe there’s no real purpose behind all these motions. Maybe I look like a construction worker with a silly little hat on, busy with the repetitious little tasks of making a longer road.

Humph…I mean, everyday I go on that roof top and watch the doves…thinking I’m doing what I’m destined to do…watch the doves, find the person, help the person, and do it all again…thinking this is my purpose in life. But what if just one day I didn’t go? What if I didn’t try to intervene, in my own little ways, and change the course of the people’s lives that I’m suppose to help fix? After all, I don’t even know if I really help them. I just assume. I don’t follow them around after my intervention asking “Is your life better now?” It’s kinda like that nice lady down at the pub, Tara, I think her name is. I walk by and look through the windows fairly often. She’s always doing her routine. Walking back and forth from the tables to the kitchen, tables to kitchen. Brings full plates. Takes away empty plates. Oh God, why am I here? Am I really doing anything of any importance? I sure hope so. But in the mean time, I guess I’ll just keep doing my job. Oh, and try to be a kid too.